Driving

Not unlike many other states (or all states?), my Massachusetts license was no good here and I had to take the Minnesota Written Test to get my Minnesota driver's license.  Of the maximum I was allowed to get wrong, I got the maximum.  I got eight wrong out of forty questions.  Two of my favorites (not verbatim)...

• When your high beams are on and a car is approaching on the other side, you should turn off your high beams at:
   a) 50 feet
   b) 100 feet
   c) 500 feet
   d) 1500 feet
My answer?  I don't even remember.  Who has such amazing depth perception from their driver's seat under conditions where high beams would be required?!?!

• Under normal driving conditions, how far should you be behind the car in front of you?
   a) 2 seconds
   b) 3 seconds
   c) 4 seconds
   d) 5 seconds
My answer?  Overturned hands, jaw-drop, look around the room like someone stepped on my toe.

Now about the driving...

PEOPLE DRIVE THE SPEED LIMIT.  I have found that when I'm on I94W, driving into the cities, when it says Speed Limit: 65mph, that means people are going to drive 65mph.  This rule-following causes traffic, delays, accidents, and any other possible traffic disappointment possible.  Cab drivers talk on their cell phones and swerve lanes (I don't know that they speak English, either) and there no shortage of cars that should not be on the road.

Here's a difference between Massachusetts and Minnesota...

In MA, you need to have your car inspected annually ($29) to make sure it is fit to be on the road.  This is to prevent having cars on the road that could cause an accident.  In MN, you pay an annual fee for updated stickers to be placed on your license place.  I have no idea what these stickers do, but if I'm paying MN for them, they must do something.  It's like 1-3 horsepower more for my vehicle.

Yes, there are more trucks, American-made vehicles, and cars over 3 colors on the road.

Another observation...I may live close to the MN/WI border, but I certainly see my Green Bay Packers stickers or decals than Vikings ones on cars.  WTF?

To close, I feel I need to mention how incredibly confusing a few highways are in Minnesota.


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94 is what goes from East to West through the Twin Cities.  This makes a lot of sense.  If you look carefully, there is 694 and 494 which form a circle around 94 north and south respectively.  Both of these highways can go N, W, S, or E.  You can be on 694N and 694W at the same time...but it's important to know where the hell you are for it to make any sense.  There is also the beauty of 35.  There are two 35s.  The run along the Mississippi River and indicate where it is relative to the river thus making them 35E or 35W.  But both 35E and 35W can run north and south.  So, if you ever visit, do not be alarmed when you hear, "go on 35E North or 35W South.  Messed up.  

Snow

So, Boston gets quite a bit of snow so I'm no stranger to snow.  From talking with my lovely wife, who was born and raised in Minnesota, I've learned that Minnesota doesn't necessarily get more snow than Boston, per sé, but it happens all at once (which it did) and then slowly melts away which creates the poop snow that you inevitably get all up in your car, home, and pantalones.

Here's my thing.

Cold, you can do something about it.  Wear some thermal and get a big-ass coat and winter accessories and you'll survive.  Snow, however, I think I've had enough of.  The shoveling.  The coming home after a day's work and shoveling.  The poop snow.  The poop snow everywhere.  Kicking the poop snow off my car before I enter my garage.  Pushing the snow off your car.  And when you brush up against your car, you've covered in salt.

My small patch of lawn in front of my lovely home still has snow stacked higher than my wife.  Yes.  She could stand behind the snow bank and I would not see her.

There's a lot of snow here and it happened over a 2 week period and it will take the next three months to melt.  Winters, from what I understand, last a heck of a lot longer than back East so, come baseball season, I should be back to waking up to sunlight and not worry about letting my car warm up.

If you haven't checked it out, pick up Lewis Black's Rules of Enragement.  Great bits on Minnesota weather.

Sports

Let me talk about Minnesotan and Wisconsinite sports perspectives.  Granted, I left Boston at the end of a decade of pure sports dominance so I do come with much experience in celebrating.

In the past decade, I've witnessed...

6 [SIX] championship parades:
2001 Patriots
2003 Patriots
2004 Patriots
2004 Red Sox
2007 Red Sox
2008 Celtics

• The greatest lefty/righty tandem in baseball in David Ortiz (released by the Twins) and Manny Ramirez.
• The tallest NHL player in history in Zdeno Chára (6'9").
• The wizardry of Pedro Martinez.
• The snow bowl.
• The 2001 Patriots coming out together as a team at the Super Bowl.
• Varitek shoving his glove onto ARod's face, picking him up, and tackling him.
• ARod slapping Bronson Arroyo's ball.
• Kevin Garnett (from the Timberwolves) teaming up with The Truth and Jesus Shuttlesworth to bring a championship home.
• Doug Mientkiewicz (from the Twins) catching the final out from Keith Foulke to end an 86 year World Series drought.
• THREE Super Bowls in 4 years.  Good lord.
[et cetera]

I really could go on and on...but this is a great starting place.

Minnesota fans do love their teams.  AND their players.  But there's such a defeatist mentality when it comes down to it.

Once the Vikings lost a game this season (after starting 6-0 and losing to a then very good Steelers team), I heard ramblings of it being over and that the Packers were going to somehow kick their ass and how Childress this and Favre that.  Even now, Vikings fans tell me they don't know how the Purple will do in the postseason.  Honestly?  Dallas is hot right now but it's an any given Sunday situation and I can see this Sunday's game going either way.  Vikes fans.  Believe.  Show support.  GO TO THE GAMES.  I found it ridiculous that the Minnesota Vikings were still emailing mid-season offering me discounted tickets to games.  It's not even an outdoor stadium!  I can't believe seasons aren't perennially sold out!  I feel like I could get tickets to Sunday's Divisional playoff if I tried!  Boston playoffs?  Not a chance.

I've been to a number of Twins games and people are more interested in the games and prizes that happen in-between innings (Yes, Fenway Faithful.  Other stadiums have giveaways and such to keep people coming.).  Fans aren't the most polite either of the visiting team's fans.  I saw some folks with Cleveland jerseys getting heckled and when the Sox were in town and I donned Sox gear, I got some crap.  Even in Fenway, only Yankees jerseys got booed.  As they should.  And again, games are never sold out.  There's a brand spanking new park opening this April and I have no expectation of the local people showing enough support to keep the franchise thriving.  Note to fans: if you love your players, especially your homegrown players, GO TO THE GAMES.  It's not even about the t-shirts or jerseys or hats or anything.  GO TO GAMES.  On another note, this new stadium is ridiculous.  Was the franchise not aware of what the weather is typically like here in April and May?  No roof?  WHAT?!?!

Timberwolves.  Okay.

The Minnesota Wild.  Good team.  Tough division.  I don't know too many fans, but I don't know what to do with hockey fans.  I'm glad Culver's supports them though.  Culvers, my East Coast brethren, is a sight to behold.  They do butter burgers and custard.  Making McDonald's look like a salad bar, Culver's does make some tasty junk.

Wisconsinites are a bit simpler.  They love Brett Favre.  I can feel the warmth of his presence in every conversation about him.  I'm starting to think that it is possible that his poop doesn't stink.  Two questions.  Is Favre not the oldest looking 40 year old and is he only allowed to wear Wrangler jeans?

Wisconsinites are Packers fans and Packers fans are for real.  They're a through thick-and-thin, owned by the people, for the people, of the people breed that stands by their team.  I respect that.  The cheesehead thing is wild but I can dig it.  It seems like Wisconsinites like the Brewers, but it's still a small market team.  The Bucks.  Okay.

I suppose being outside the capital of Red Sox & Patriot Nation or another big sports market like New York or Chicago, you're gonna see fandom like this any where else.

My wife pitched to me that I could catch Sox games here in MN.  Series is in April.  I'd have to cover myself in thermal if I were to go to the series.

Friendliness

People in the Midwest truly are friendlier.

For one, if I were to go through a McDonald's drive-thru, not only am I greeted warmly and with the kind of energy and positivity found in the Chapter President of any Team Jacob Club, I am also bid farewell with the same enthusiasm.  What a stark contrast from the asian or hispanic I would typically get in Boston where I'd be constantly worried that they'd get my order wrong (This is if I were to actually go through a McDonald's drive-thru, of course).

The other day, I went to a local grocery store near my office to grab some 1% milk and a quick lunch.  I was stopped by nearly every employee and was asked if I was finding everything okay or if there was anything they could help me with.  Some of these employees spoke slower to me than others.  Was I the only minority in this supermarket?  Yes.  Does that take away from the niceness?  Absolutely not.

I had a coupon for a free oil change for being new to the area.  I could end there but I think it's worth mentioning that I had the most charming conversation with the shop owner and his handyman about weather, owning land, maintaining a home, being home for supper...not only did I feel like I was being accepted in this new area, I felt like I was being ushered into a new social club.  I would now refuse an oil change whereupon I did not receive such personal attention.  I mattered.  My car mattered.  And now, if I get another free oil change voucher, I will go back again.

The First Post

I've wanted to start a blog of quips and anecdotes especially noting my observations of the experience of coming from Boston, MA and moving to St. Paul, MN and working in River Falls, WI since I got here in September.  Couple that with my jargon on being a newlywed and a homeowner and learning how I really don't know too much about housekeeping and this is what I came up with.

Go me.

These are my favorite people.  My wife is my favorite.