Thursday, April 28, 2011

Donuts

Look, we don't have Dunkin Donuts here and while we almost did recently, that folded and now I just need to accept that I'll never get it back.

But, there's always a but.

Kwik Trip's (a gas station) Glazers Donuts are AMAZING. You can get 6 glazed or 6 glazed with chocolate drizzle for $2.99. And while the Double-Ds glazed donut will always be closest to my heart, I'm finding satisfaction in being able to go to a 24-hour gas stations to pick up donuts. I think I've written before that gas station food is unsung; this is just more of me telling you that there is no shame in grabbing a quick bit at a Kwik Trip, Holiday, BP, etc.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Verizon FiOS

This isn't specific to the Midwest but, Verizon, if you're listening...I want you. I want you to be in Woodbury, MN and I want you to do it before my Comcast contract expires.

I need you like ham needs eggs.
I need you like donuts need glaze.
I need you like coke needs real sugar.
I just need you now.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Walleye

Minnesota is a big fishing state. They don't call it the land of 10,000 lakes for nothing. In fact, 10,000 is an undershot; there are more like 10,000,000 lakes in Minnesota (hyperbole).

Coming from New England, being Asian, and fancying myself a moderate-foodie, I love eating fish. Atlantic salmon, cod, trout, bass, haddock, skate...I LOVE fish. But since moving to Minnesota, I've fallen in love with a new fish - especially during lent where you can find a Fish Fry almost anywhere.

Walleye.

Walleye is a wonderful wonderful thing. Breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I'm writing this at 9:02 AM because I want walleye STAT. And my dog woke me up to take him out to pee. But if he was a walleye...I wouldn't be writing right now.

From this:

To this:

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Fleet Farm

I'm not a handy man. Never have been and could quite possibly never be. But there is something innate that makes me enjoy places like Fleet Farm and Menards. Strolling around and looking at farm and outdoor equipment, requisite household hardware and supplies and candy - all at blockbuster prices, keeps me occupied for hours. 

It's not like Home Depot or Lowe's. Nay, these two establishments are delightful. Fleet Farm, for instance, has a whole section of wholesale candy and legumes. If I ever were to sport Wrangler or Lee jeans, you'll know where I got them. Carhartt boots? Same place (maybe Marshalls...whenever my Lugz give way). Want a place to buy a dog crate, peach gummies, and a gun rack? Check out Fleet Farm and make sure you visit the clearance racks for great novelty t-shirts.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

You Win Some Then You Dim Sum

Dim Sum is the pride of the Cantonese. Literally, it means, "touch of the heart," because that's how much it means to my ancestors and their descendants. The food is always prepared fresh and the small dishes are typically steamed hand-made dumplings or buns or other wonderful things. You enjoy these small dishes while having bottomless tea (your choices of tea, mind you) while enjoying your company. Dim Sum is commonly a weekend brunch and is a fantastic time to chit chat with friends and family.


I grew up having Dim Sum on average of once a week. It's quite literally in my blood.

Kristin and I went to Thom Pham's Wondrous Azian Kitchen today in Minneapolis to try their highly-touted dim sum brunch. This was spurned by a livingsocial coupon that gave us $30 off for $15.

I'm just going to approach this with one-offs.

1. I don't know what it is about non-Chinese people serving dim sum. Not being able to order in Chinese just feels weird. It'd be like ordering McDonald's in any language other than English.

2. They had push carts. Only redeeming value.

3. Tea was not included. This takes away half of dim sum. Maybe even 55%.

4. 20% gratuity was included regardless of the size of party. Of all the times I had dim sum in Boston, New York, and San Francisco (remember, their is no tipping in most other countries that would serve dim sum) and I don't think I've ever even tipped 15%.

5. NO FREAKING INCLUDED TEA?!?!?!?!? I could order Jasmine tea if I wanted. Somewhere in Quincy, MA, my father is shaking his head.

6. Dishes were $4, $5, and $5.75. WHAT?!?! (Dim Sum is typically $2.50, $3.50, and $4.50...and that's pricey)

7. MOST, not all, I'll confess, offerings were frozen or at least steamed/cooked in a way that was just low-grade. Dumplings often had two wrappers - that's like serving a burger with two buns.

8. The "churng-fun" (long rice noodle w/shrimp or beef) was way too thick and didn't contain the rudimentary cilantro. I didn't know what I was tasting.

9. The steamed buns were definitely frozen. We tried their "cha-siu bao" and custard bao. The bao to filling ratio was probably 10:1. Again, I didn't know what I was tasting.

10. No Chinese mustard on the table.

11. Tea was not included.

12. The waitstaff was nice and polite. I can't imagine attempting to explain perhaps the most beloved Cantonese cuisine to Cantonese people if you're not Cantonese and don't speak Cantonese. They were professional and smiley.

13. We waited 40 minutes for a table.

14. The braised beef balls were pretty good. Filled with cilantro and served over watercress. This I did enjoy.

15. The "hai-keem" (crab-claw) wasn't bad. Again, the proportion of batter to meat was 10:1, but it wasn't too bad.

16. The "law-bak-go" (white turnip cake) wasn't bad but was missing the requisite fillings (pork, chive, and dried shrimp). They didn't serve it with hoisin on the side either.

17. "Guylan" (Chinese broccoli) was $5 for what looked like 8 strands or maybe half a pound. 1 pound of Chinese broccoli at a grocery store is $1.

18. Tea was not included.

--

Here's where I'm gonna try to look on the bright-side.

Most people around here do not know Dim Sum or moreover, good Dim Sum. And that's fine. The experience is not necessarily lost on the population and is still, in most likelihood, an enjoyable meal. While it's not as tasty as what I know Dim Sum should be, if someone didn't know otherwise, it's still nice. I'd imagine someone who's never had a fine Memphis BBQ, would find Chili's baby back ribs to be pretty good.

I like the gyro and souvlaki at Opa!, a Greek food court restaurant at the Mall of America. I'm sure any real Greek would say it's crap. Maybe not. I think it's pretty good.

I assume the founder of Wondrous Azian Kitchen isn't targeting the Chinese or even Asian-American community; he's targeting the less-thrifty non-Asian-American community. I can't hate on him for that. Business is business.